A natural conclusion.

I've come to the end of the line with this kindness business. Not that I won't strive daily to be kinder, I just have run out of ideas! So, there it is, a natural conclusion to my blog. I have done what I set out to do, I got kinder and I enjoyed it. Thanks for coming along on the ride,  reading my blogs and encouraging me by doing so, it's been fun.
 I have a new challenge and a new blog, so have a nosey….carlysdailyactofchange.blogspot. It's all about putting my strong opinions and ideals into action, I always did have a bit of anarchy in me…so let's see how it all unfolds!

Kindness#19….A rant for moral kindness.

I made a decision today to boycott watching or buying any media related to the Olympics in Sochi, Russia. I also made a decision to be honest and open with my eldest daughter who wanted to watch the opening ceremony. Why? Out of respect and kindness to my gay friends and out of anger and disbelief at Russia's hideous anti gay laws.
Media is a strong conveyer of opinion, emotion and power; switching off is a protest that shuts this down when it's moral core is in question. Kindness encompasses everyone, it doesn't segregate or discriminate, it is strong and has the power to overthrow. 
Make your own mind up about this one. I am not writing this blog to preach. But if I am really going to be kinder I have to follow through. I can't sit and watch a country being showcased when it is lacking greatly in political fairness, making a spectacle of wealth when poverty rises and shutting down protest and calling it propaganda. Kindness#19….A rant for moral kindness.

Kindness #18 ….1000 hits = a few home truths.

Ok, so my blog has reached 1000 hits, so what better way to mark that than to tell some truths. It's kind to be honest right?  Right. So here goes. Clancy, it was me who colored your hair with black vivid when we were in third form (I was very jealous, you were very pretty and you had a horse). I also kissed your boyfriend. Sam P, I borrowed your belt when we were thirteen, I never gave it back and I still wear it ( I think of you when I do). Kerry, I read your diaries during your entire teenage years (they were great). Dad, I stole a very expensive bottle of red wine from your cellar many moons ago, Mum, I skipped high school a lot, jumped out the window at night heaps and….actually best leave it at that. Readers….here's some for you, I am not that kind, because this blog has been hard, really hard. I pretend to be deaf when the kids whinge, I don't do sympathy and I tell eeny, little lies when necessary. I am irritated by feeble people, I am overly sarcastic and if Dora was real I would tell her to piss off. 
So there you have it, my truths, my kindness to you in the form of good old fashioned honesty. Kindness#18 ….1000 hits = a few home truths.

Kindness#17….Bring back humanity.

I am not alone. In so far as, I am not the only person in the world who finds the convenience of self service at the supermarket, not only inconvenient but downright stressful. They have made it foolproof and simple, easy and fast, but I seem to have a glitch in my brain wiring that makes simple really, really hard and fast extra, painfully slow. Complicated and unpredictable I can do….simple, not so much.
 But today I found a kindred spirit a person equally encumbered. I was waiting in line and an elderly lady was clearly in trouble at the self service check out. She was flustered, there was beeping and the other people in the queue were looking at their feet. I felt a pang in my heart, I understood her plight and I stepped out of line and helped. We muddled through, nutted it out and even weighed the bananas and identified them correctly. We no doubt entertained the impatient queue and managed to giggle about it at the same time. She was a sweet heart and together we conquered that talking computer (so demanding, so tedious and lacking greatly in humour). I ditched my milk and bread and helped carry the bags to her car. She clutched my arm and thanked me sincerely, in that earnest way that only the elderly and the very young can. I felt good, I felt triumphant and……..I needed milk. Kindness#17….Bring back humanity.

Kindness#16….The mood police.

I was grumpy today, down-right awful. Nothing could budge my frump and my black mood day seemed to stretch endlessly on. My job puts me right at the coal face of communication and there is no escaping people and there is no escaping the fact that I have to be nice, friendly and happy. Sign language won't cut it, neither would hiding out the back…….Conversation is necessary.  Usually talking is easy peasy and completely enjoyable…..I can generally talk all day about anything and nothing and do it with a cheeriness verging on hysteria. But today it was horrendous, a complete affront to my state of silent brooding.
 I kept it to a minimum, stuck to passing comments about the weather and in avoidance mode I waded through the day. Then she came in, a regular, a lonely and perfectly lovely old lady. An alcoholic with the shakes who no-one else really bothers with.  I always make the biggest effort with her and she has come to expect a chat and a smile. And what did I do?, Miss daily kindness extraordinaire. I hid, yes…. I hid.  I know she is an old lady and yes I know that was very unkind. But well, I was feeling like I was pushing through fog and my smile was very much upside down. Once you jump down a dark hole it's hard to pull yourself up again. 
But then I could see her looking around, smiling at no-one in particular in a disappointed way and I just couldn't stand it.  I said hello, I smiled, she smiled we chatted and the sun came out in my head. I could tell that I was the first person today that she had really spoken to and to deny her that would have been unkind and wrong. So, I have come to a decision and thus my conclusion; bad moods must be kept to a minimum and avoidance tactics applied (chocolate, shopping, red wine etc) and when they do rise to the surface they should be given a cup of tea,  a firm talking to and if severe, quarantined, cordoned off and shut down. Kindness#16….The mood police.

Kindness#15….Parties are necessary.

I was too busy being kind yesterday to write my blog! So here's my explanation. My neighbors are moving, which is a great shame as they are good ones, but on the upside, we can visit them at their new home near the beach. They are long standing residents of our little village and I thought they needed a send off, hence the absence of a blog and the presence of a slightly blurry head and todays mildly fuzzy blog. 
Vast quantities of food, copious amounts of wine, beer and whiskey, plenty of crazy children……..banter, laughter and a bit of reminiscing were present. A humongous cake, dripping with frosting and decorated with chocolate seashells was consumed and friendships firmed up before the moving truck moves out. 
It's easy to overlook such things, people moving on, birthdays, milestones…….when good stuff or not so good stuff happens. Things and people can so easily get shoved to one side and fall through the cracks when life looms large and busyness takes over. I have found, these past few weeks, that kindness does take time and it can seem like a burden. Being selfish is much easier and by far quicker. But kindness brings rewards it is strengthening and fun and holds memories in it's large and outstretched hands. It makes things real. Kindness#15….Parties are necessary.

Kindness#14….For the love of kites.

A kid flying a kite is a cool sight and without getting too cliche it's kinda good for the soul. Well at least my heart was warmed the other day when the boy across the road was flying one, it was bright against the blue sky, a reminiscent symbol of days gone and he looked pretty pleased with himself as well. But the next day I saw the kite stuck up in a big bush of ivy. I imagined his distraught face, not to mention his Mum's when she no doubt had to spend the following half hour consoling, calming and finally bribing away the tears. 
 I climbed the fence, balanced precariously, dodged the barbed wire and the ivy but my height (or lack of)  defied me and so the kite remained. A kite stuck in a tree, a sad sight, a symbol of childhood lost and…..and I'll leave it at that before I get carried away with the metaphors.
 So today, I took a brand spanking new kite across the road, it was blue and red and even had spiderman on it ( it's pretty much a given that little boys love spiderman). He wasn't home but I am sure his face will light up when he sees it and on the next windy day I expect I'll see spiderman flying high, but remember little man, please…. not near the kite hungry ivy! Kindness #14….For the love of kites.

Kindness #13….To hello or not to hello….that is the question.

I say hello a lot, to strangers, people I vaguely know but can't (for the life of me) remember their name. Young people, old people (especially old people), dogs, cats the weird guy who rides his bike around town all day and every day. There are not many who have escaped a hello from me. Except one man. One single person whom I dislike greatly. This man has never been granted even one greeting and I'll tell you something, it has been so incredibly hard. It goes against my grain you see, and the not saying hello to this man is a skill that has taken some time to master.
 I live in awe of people who can be nasty, snobby and downright frosty and I have never understood how they do it. But my dislike of this particular human being is great and my cause is just so I have persevered and through share force of will I have not relented in my non-cheeriness policy. But today my pursuit of kindness was greater and I shrugged off the cold shoulder, I moved the glacier, crossed that very rickety bridge, I unpicked all my stitches of carefully knitted knots and I said…."Hi". As simple as that, I was a quivering, nervous wreck and he (this suited and booted monstrosity) looked through me and said nothing. Oh well, Kindness #12….To hello or not to hello….that is the question.

Kindness#12….Be kind to__________(insert your name here).

Life can be hard, full of difficult choices and we don't always choose wisely. Regrets can weigh heavy and hard, things unsaid, paths not taken and voids that would have been best avoided. My kindness today is to you all…you chose this path so run down it, you are wise even in your worst moments and regrets can be cast off, love spoken and holes filled.
 Be kind to yourself today, turn away from those who defy your good mood, smile at arrogance and whistle a tune that makes you smile. Don't look back, dream in colour and don't try so hard to succeed…you already are. People can be mean, but you don't have to be;  play with your kids, eat chocolate, read a book, laugh at yourself and sleep at night with the knowledge that you did all you could, you chose as you did and your life is as it should be. Kindness#12….Be kind to ______ (insert your name here).